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Is it ok to disagree?
Kacy Maxwell
November 05, 2024
It’s Election Day in the US and we are going to have a new president-elect sometime this week. (unless, well, hanging chads). It also means that half of the country will be excited and hopeful, while the other half will be upset and probably scared. And yet regardless of who wins, we will all still be Americans, and have to continue living and working together to keep this country moving forward. But is it possible to follow a leader you disagree with?
Everyone wants me to be a leader until I make a decision they don’t like.
This is a question that I have faced as a leader a number of times in my career and it is never easy. You think that when you become a leader and you make decisions, your team will simply rally behind you. But that doesn’t always happen. So what is your responsibility as a leader? Do you invoke your authority until they fall in line? Do you simply ignore the dissenters? Or do you stop moving forward until everyone is on board? The answer is often very dependent on the situation, but first, let’s look at the different types of disagreement.
3 Types of Disagreement
The Silent Disagreement
> This is when the team member agrees verbally and disagrees mentally. They may see potential obstacles, but they choose to blindly follow the leader.
>> This can signal they don’t care enough about the success to risk speaking up or they may feel you don’t value their opinion in the first place.
The Immovable Disagreement
> This is when the team member digs in their heels and won’t move until they are 100% convinced it is right decision.
>> This shows a lack of trust in you as the leader. It also quickly creates distance between the team member and yourself as you begin to walk forward.
The Collaborative Disagreement
> This is when the team member starts walking with the leader and share their feedback as you walk. They help shape/influence the direction but are moving forward WITH you the whole time.
>> This shows their trust in you and will ultimately make the project more successful.
While you will experience all three of these types, the collaborative disagreement is the one that you should encourage from your team. But how do you encourage dissent? One of the easiest ways is to simply ask. Whenever you present an idea or a new direction, ask your team ‘why won’t this work?’ Encouraging this type of feedback and actually listening to it can often help identify gaps or biases that you can’t see. And even if you don’t ultimately change direction based on the feedback, the fact that you asked for their input will show you value them and will create a culture of trust for your team in the future.
Remember, disagreement is not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that your plan is bad or you are not smart enough to be a leader. If it is coming from a team member that trusts you and wants you to win, it can actually be one of the most valuable things your team member can do. So next time your team member disagrees with you, before you start getting defensive, try being curious first.